Starting from this month, I am going to write for the monthly Kesklinna Sõnumid (that free monthly newspaper from Tallinn City Council that you get in your postbox) as Lady Wait-Rose from Japan. This is the full, unedited, original article of my monthly column on the Kesklinna Sõnumid newspaper.
I have never thought about writing in English (or in Japanese or possibly in Estonian in the future) for publication in my life. Now I am recalling my kindergarten graduation day when my favourite teacher said to me upon parting: “Your weapon is your words. Don’t hesitate to speak up!” Since I came to Estonia to do everything I could not have done while I had lived a decade of sleepless life with legal study and profession, and with the inspirations and encouragement from the Tallinn City Centre Expats Chat interviewer, I think it is time for me to unlock my thoughts about my life in Estonia and share them in my own words with you. If you have watched TV3’s Duubel on Friday nights, that “Yuri, naine Jaapanist” was actually me. It was my very first “speed dating” experience in my whole life, and it was on the TV, plus in the new language that I am learning. I just wanted to do something crazy that I would not have possibly done back in Tokyo! Thankfully, most of the audience received me with warm hearts. On the other hand, so many people frowned upon the man when he did not stand up to welcome me nor offered his hand for greeting. A lot of Estonians worried that I must have felt insulted by his attitude, and the video post of TV3 Duubel on Facebook soon got its record-high views, fuelled by heated comments. I must admit that I felt awkward in my mind for a moment, but that was simply because, though only for 9 months when I was 20, I was partially educated in London where a presentable lady should expect a man to stand up for acknowledgment in such a setting (and my British part of cultural identity dictates that, if the man just remained sitting there as I presented myself, I was not worthy of his respect). Yet, it was not in my knowledge that the same etiquette is observed in Estonia, so I was not surprised as I always keep in my mind that there are different cultures in different places. I just interpreted it as though he was trying to observe the Covid-19 preventive measures faithfully, hence he was hesitant to make our face levels nearer or to have physical contacts. However, some Estonians even described him as a “racist” for believing that Japanese people eat sushi everyday or not slowing down his Estonian speech nor trying to converse in English for me. Yes, he had a stereotypical view about Japanese people, but I would never recognise him as a racist. The awkwardness derives from this simple fact that we came from different sociocultural backgrounds, and nothing he said or did insulted me. I wanted people to know this, and that is why I started commenting back in Estonian on that post. This whole controversy just reminded me of the debate on a Facebook group for Tallinn expats where the OP felt she was insulted by racism when the local shopkeepers started explaining things in Estonian while she still demanded for a full refund on her purchased items rather than exchanging them for other retailed goods, solely due to her personal reasons. Whoever knows the principles of the Estonian consumer protection law and the difficulty of explaining complicated matters in a foreign language understood that nothing signified any element of racism there. But surprisingly, there was a noticeable number of other expats who also echoed her distress and criticised the Estonian shopkeepers for being “racist and not meeting the international standards of customer service”. As an Asian face being the target of real racism attacks ever since the outbreak of Covid-19 here, I find this kind of cheap application of the term “racism” absolutely problematic as it contributes in hindering the impact of real racism incidents. I shall not dig into this topic today, but here are two things I want to say out loud as an expat if I may deploy my weapon once and for all: (1) Cross-cultural life becomes much more enjoyable when we stop applying our own notion of “this is normal”. While we are in that psychological trap, every little cultural discrepancy is a stressful encounter. (2) And “our” fear towards “others” comes from not being able to understand what “they” are thinking. When we start understanding the language of “theirs”, the fear fades away and the excitement of human interaction kicks in! That is where I am after experiencing a full year of living outside of Tokyo for the first time in my life. Covid-19 still goes on, the outside is freezing cold, and the sun does not shine upon us. But I love how people keep me warm and bright inside this winter! If you’d wish to see a shorter, edited version on the digital copy of Kesklinna Sōnumid, here’s the link for you! https://www.tallinn.ee/est/kesklinn/17.-veebruar_EST-ENG.pdf Comments are closed.
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Üüdisele või ajalehele jne: palun kirjutage vormis siin (inglise keeles küsisin, aga võite kirjutada eesti keeles).
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